Monthly Archives: November 2011

Piracy and Ecportingrubic

In Kenya you generally only see bootleg DVDs for sale (the only original DVDs I’ve seen have been in very-large supermarkets and typically are religions or self-help style DVDs). Many of the knockoff DVDs are camcorder copies of blockbuster movies from Russian and Eastern European Cinemas, often with hilarious bored audiences and fighting couples.

However, one of my favourite things about these discs is the language used on the packaging to discourage ‘piracy’ and ‘counterfeiting’. For example discs often have the following text, on the front:

“NB original disc cover is embossed be aware of locally burnt counterfeit [sic]”

Because your should only buy original pirate movies , obviously.

But on the back is where it gets truly fantastic, especially as the same copyright text appears on many many discs in Kenya (blindly copy from one DVD sleeve to the next):

“PLEASE READ TJOS [sic] WARMONG CAREFULLY BEFORE OPENGING THE SEALED PACKAGE. By copenring The licensed the film (including its soundtrack) comprised in this kinitial video disc (DVD) for sale and private home viewing only, all unauthorized use includes selling, relling, ecportingrubic, performance, broadcasting and/or trading any part of this copyright material without obtaining prior written License….”

Thats some fantastic new words:

  • Tjos
  • Warmong
  • Copenring (its a place in Guinea as well)
  • Kinitial
  • Relling
  • Ecportingrubic

I wonder what they mean? Any suggestions? Maybe ‘Kinitial’ should be the peak of excitement when loading a new Kinetic game, before 5mins of gameplay crushes any chance you’ll ever play the game again.

The Best Food is Always at Petrol Stations

Strangely the two best new places we’ve found to eat in Kisumu recently have both been in petrol stations along the Kisumu/Nairobi Road.

Hemali (South Indian Food) – Libya Oil Petrol Station, Kisumu/Nairobi Road.

Hemali has probably been here a long time but we only just noticed their sign the other day. They have lots of western and Kenya staples, but the reason to go their is for their Southern Indian Food. Its cheap, spicey and tastey. We had some great Bhel Puri, Potato Chat and an ok dosai. We were stuffed and very happy. Restaurant has a lot of privacy from the Petrol Station, though with plastic chairs and tables and functional air to it. Has some great Sugar Cane Juice with some nice spice in it. Cheap and delicious with many many vegetarian options. If it was nearer to town it would give Raj Sappy a run for its money as the best cheap lunch spot.

Food: 7/10, Ambience: 5/10, Service: 5/10, Price: 8/10

Turtle Bar (Mexican Food) – Triton Petrol Station, Kisumu/Nairobi Road.

This is a strange place as it forms one edge of the petrol station and the windows all look towards the petrol pumps. It has an outside eating area right on the forecourt, a real problem with mosquitos, a lime green interior, one small tv for football and banging DJ music even on a quiet sunday evening. However, it does have pretty passable tex-mex food, which was a huge surprise. Better than Mariposa in its prime, as everything was pretty tasty (unlike Mariposa’s guacamole at the end, which was just mashed Avocados without salt, lime or anything else). Their beer prices are a little ridiculous considering you’re drinking in a Petrol Station right on the Nairobi/Kisumu road.

Service was was strangely aggressive and the prices in the menu are not what we were charged and it took a while to remedy. But even with all negatives, the food is worth the trip (for Kisumu) esp if your jonesing for some Mexican Food esp as there are lots of vegetarian options.

Food: 6/10, Ambiance: 2/10, Service: 4/10, Price: 6/10